The Sociable and Nice take on Fairy Tales

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nce upon a time.. people had nothing better to do than copulate (without the use of modern or even old ways or contraception) thus small loud pooping and demanding brats were born.. After yelling running and screaming all day long they had to be “put to sleep”, and because most parents were a bit reluctant in stuffing their lil faces with sleeping pills and/or alcohol they had to talk them to sleep. And that’s how fairy tales were born!

Of course every culture has its own fairytale version but basically they all wrap around the same issues: kings, monsters, beautiful princess, evil to be conquered by the brave and mighty hero! The Romanian versions all have pretty much the same pattern: the beautiful (pitzi) princess is kidnapped by the big bad ugly monster (some sort of ogre) and taken to his tower(falic symbol of course for what happens to her there).
The prince, usually the youngest of 3 brothers, the one brave and pure at heart (translation: too young and or/too dorky to get laid) find his father’s old, sick and almost shipped to the glue factory but magical horse, feeds him burning embers and turns him into the noble steed!
He then travels to find the ogre, they fight for 3 days and 3 nights (potty break and all) until he of course slays the monster and rescues the princess who he of course marries and they live happily ever after! (hopefully if none of the kids will look like the poor departed ogre or the stable boy)

What better way to brainwash your retarded kids into thinking they are actually special and as their heroes they will achieve greatness not end up with minimum wage, dead end job, nagging wife and no future..

Nobody really wants to face the actual reality! Why is nobody asking what actually happens before the young prince arrives to save the princess and what’s the ogre doing?! Well that will be a story for the older kids.. and the porn industry. That might even be a niche to be explored for the “bold” entrepreneur in you!

Or nobody is considering that maybe the true hero of the story is not the prince but the poor misunderstood ogre that was trying to save the unhappy (and slutty) princess from the boring dorky rich prince. And as our weight lifting ogre was offering her his “heart” (in a tower shape of course) he’s rudely interrupted and murdered without any mercy!
Sadly the truth will never be known..

And as if this was not enough we have now the modern fairy tales… same bullshit, different context: poor beautiful girl abandoned by the rich ass play boy father that knocked up her slut of a mother, grows up to find him (or his inheritance) and meets her prince charming (90% of the cases called Juan Alberto). She of course has to battle the step evil sisters/mothers/whatever and after that they get married and live happily ever after! (hopefully if none of the kids will look like the neighbor or the tennis instructor)

That’s how those gullible kids get screwed up.. As the boys will be looking for those pure innocent princesses, only to discover that pure girls can only be found in elementary school or deep deep in the woods.  And all those princess wanna be girls that will be waiting for their handsome prince charming to come on his noble steed (manele blasting BMW) and sweep them off their feet will end up knocked up with their prince running as fast as he can to nail the next ignorant princess in line. So 10 years and a couple of rug rats later she find herself cooking and cleaning for that alcoholic prince charming that’s not so charming anymore drinking and burping as he’s watching football!

But for all you fairy tales fans, there is still hope: Beavis and Butt-Head return to MTV!

I find it so sad that more and more people can only see this glamour, looking for that bullshit fairytale..
True happiness will never come from this. What ever happened to that simple story: Boy meets girl, they talk, like each other and get together.. They treat each other with love, honesty and respect and they truly leave happily ever after?!

But ah well, what would the word be without (the sociable and nice) Fairy Tales?!